I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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