Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
