i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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