You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my poor anus
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
