i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
