She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
id be glad to
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
