so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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