Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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