best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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