why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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