Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
