ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
