You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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