Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
