never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
