with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
