Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
