He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
