so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
