All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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