I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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