take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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