Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize