Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just want to make out with him forever
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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