Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I party with great urgency now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
