I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
