it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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