Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
