Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
