you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
