I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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