I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drunk is not a location!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize