you guys were way drunker than both of me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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