Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
