I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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