Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
