we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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