Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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