Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
