i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
