There is no way he is gay with that hair.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
