You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
