Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
