I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
