It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
