Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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