his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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