Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
