She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
