It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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