I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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