I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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