I wannas sexs uuuuu
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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