my room smells like sperm. sweet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
