Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
