i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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