Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i've created a new STD.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
